Safety planning

1800RESPECT can help you build a safety plan tailored to your situation. They know the questions to ask and have walked many thousands of people through it. It is one of the most valuable free phone calls you can make.

A small bag, kept at a friend's house, at work, or somewhere the person harming you can't access. Inside it:

• Photocopies of ID (driver's licence, passport, Medicare card, birth certificates for you and any children)
• Bank card or some cash
• Keys
• A change of clothes
• Important medications
• Photos or small treasures you couldn't bear to lose
• A cheap pre-paid phone if possible, with the helpline numbers saved

Agree on a code word or phrase with one trusted person — a sibling, a friend, a neighbour. If you send or say the code, they know to call for help or come over. Make it something that would sound normal in a text.

One specific place you know you could go to, at any time of day or night, without having to plan on the day. A friend's couch, a relative, a refuge. Tell that person in advance. Having the place already decided matters on bad nights.

Teach children (age-appropriately) to call 000 if they are scared, and not to try to stop a fight. Decide in advance where they should go in the house if things get bad — a bedroom, a bathroom with a lock. Practise saying "this is not your fault" with them, often.

Even one item on this list is safer than none. Please don't wait until you can do everything before you do anything. Start with the phone call.